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The 16 Year Feijoa Curse!

What is a Feijoa?

In New Zealand there exists a fruit called a Feijoa, which is green, oval and when cut in half has a translucent clover shape inside. To describe the taste is tough but if you held a gun to my head I would say it’s a cross between a pear, an apple and a secret ingredient you just can’t put your finger on. Like an explosion of sweet and tart simultaneously. Anyway, it’s best not to over analyse these things but the taste is incredible I assure you.

The last time I tasted one of these magnificent gems was before leaving New Zealand 16 years ago; ladies and gentlemen this is far too long for anyone to be deprived of such luxury. The only other time I have seen them is in Harrods, London but at £1.50 per fruit, I just can’t justify it.

The Feijoa Curse

So, the story goes…every time I return to New Zealand on holiday it’s either “A little too early in the summer”, or “Sorry you just missed the season” so this time I was on high alert being smack back in the middle of the two danger zones. Everyone I spoke to told me once again I was “Just a little bit too early and would probably miss the season”, this only accelerated my search and low and behold, after reaching Kaikoura, there they were.

My fists grabbed as many as I could possibly manage, dropping a few carelessly like an over-zealous teenager opening his first can of larger, and after arriving to the hotel I quickly split through the waxy green skin, hollowed out the soft centre and exhaled said contents. Pure heaven, flavours bursting and taste buds ignited with the familiar.

Hanging and ready to be plucked
Hanging and ready to be plucked
Open and ready for the eating!
Open and ready for the eating!

Having been deprived for so long and against better judgment I was cautious not to devour them in one sitting. Instead I opened a bottle of red wine, only to check out the following morning taking everything but…my bag of feijoa treasure (how is this even possible!). The hotel owners must have assumed we were amazing guests ever who leave goody bags in thanks of a wonderful stay but I assure you, they were left in haste. I had underestimated the power of the Feijoa Curse and paid dearly.

I hope whoever found them enjoyed each and every bite with punctuated enthusiasm the way a first year drama student does when offered the lead role, I hope the juices ran down their faces and that there was a party in their mouth and everyone was invited!

Update: Since this blog was written, you’ll be pleased to know I’ve managed to get my hands around these beauties a few times and currently have a plant (albeit small) growing in my garden. In a few more years I’m hoping for a bountiful harvest!

If you’ve enjoyed this blog, why not check out my other New Zealand travel blogs @ www.thekiwihaslanded.com

Check out this video I made on my last kiwi road trip. I took far too many photos (obviously) so here is the abridged version in StopMotion format. You’re welcome!


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